Do you know how many things we absorb as kids that we take with us into adulthood that do not serve us emotionally and mentally? Lessons that we pick up from our families or messages that we learn from society at large that are simply not true or helpful to our happiness.
I have discovered that if we want to grow and evolve as individuals we need to take a look at some of those lessons and messages and realize that they are actually false.
Not only that, they may even be preventing us from being truly happy.
No matter how much meditation you do and no matter how many positive affirmations you write and repeat, you will find it challenging to vibrate at a high level to bring in what you dream of while you hang on to some of these messages and so-called life lessons that do not serve you.
One of the biggest secrets to successful manifestation is to genuinely feel positive, and one of the best ways to feel generally positive most of the time is to accept that a lot of what you have picked up along your life journey is not true. You have so much more power than you realize to be able to live the life you dream of.
Here are some of the life lessons and messages that I believe many of us have picked up along our journeys. Take a look and see if you relate to them. I believe that we all need to unlearn these things in order to create from purpose and positivity.
1. What others think of me is important.
Well, no, it is not actually and the faster you realize that the better. There is such freedom that comes with realizing that other people’s behavior towards you is a lot more revealing of themselves than it is about you. Let the fear of judgements and comparisons go. Believe in yourself and stop worrying about what anyone else thinks of you.
2. I need someone to complete me so that I can be whole.
Wrong. We are already whole alone. As long as you think that you need someone else to complete you, you will remain unsatisfied and unhappy. Nobody else can fix you or permanently make you feel better. You have to do the work yourself to feel whole, then when you have done so, coming together with another whole, complete person is the only real recipe for a happy love life
3. The only way to success and money is to work hard.
Or in other words, suffering is required in order to get anywhere in life. While hard work is not a bad thing, it is if you are not enjoying what you do. There’s a saying, do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. I love that, I believe you will be more likely to get where you want to be when you enjoy the journey and flow. Work smarter, not harder!
4. Self love is selfish.
Wrong. Arrogance and selfish behavior is selfish. Loving yourself is natural and necessary. Self love is not just about having a bubble bath and getting a massage. It’s about a core acceptance and respect for who you are as a person. Loving yourself means treating yourself as a beautiful, spiritual being. Being your own best friend means knowing what you deserve on a soul level and not settling for anything less.
5. I am the way I am because of my past and I can’t change it.
We all have emotional baggage. Some of us have had very traumatic pasts. While we are influenced by our experiences, we do not have to be ruled by them. There comes a point when we can take responsibility for who we are and how we live. We can change the way we live by creating a new reality.
6. We shouldn’t feel negative emotions.
I know that I talk about positivity a lot, but that doesn’t mean there is no place for your negative feelings and emotions. Often as kids we are taught not to cry, to put a brave face on things or to get rid of our ‘bad’ feelings. But our bad feelings are just as valid and need to be felt in order to pass through us. Next time you experience a negative emotion, try seeing it as temporary, allow yourself to feel it and let it go. I guarantee it will pass through you much easier and you will feel better.
7. We should always be happy.
Following on from the above point, the idea that we must always be positive and smiling is unrealistic.Life is about balance, ying and yang, day and night. We need the rain and the sun. it’s important to maintain a positive outlook but more than that is the importance of feeling love for yourself. When you love yourself you activate your intuition, and that is your best guidance in life.
8. If only – – – were different, I would be happier (fill in the blank)
The constant comparison with others is toxic, particularly today with so much social media and people revealing only part of the truth through carefully filtered images. If you think that your life would be better if you were thinner, prettier, richer, living somewhere else etc, you are really your own worst enemy.
Start feeling grateful for the things you do have and watch your life change radically. You do not want to wait until you’re too old to realize that in fact your life was pretty great!
9. I can’t be what I want to be.
This is a big one guys! The fear that we are not clever enough, good enough, don’t live in the right city or know the right people. It’s all self-limiting and plain wrong. This kind of belief just encourages a defeatist attitude. The truth is we can all be whatever we want to be, there’s room for each of us to light up the world in our own unique ways.
10. Loving someone means being there 24/7
I don’t believe this to be true. When you love someone you want to offer them the best of you. That means sometimes you will need to be alone, taking time for yourself and putting your needs first where necessary. Ideally you have a relationship that is balanced, and this will be natural. Loving someone does not mean denying yourself what you need in the moment, especially when you feel depleted. Loving someone also means knowing when to have boundaries.