Relationships 💓 are an amazing way for us to grow and evolve on a spiritual level. Even when things go wrong, we learn about ourselves in new and important ways, awakening to valuable life lessons and growing in self-worth. Relationships are very important, but because of this emphasis in our society, there are certain myths and untruths that surround being in love or being with a partner.
I want to discuss some of these today because I believe that many people get tripped up in life due to these relationship myths — myths that are purely based on fear, ego, and insecurity, or a lack of conscious understanding and self-awareness.
These are four of the most common myths I believe we have been told about relationships.
1. Being in a Relationship is Essential
It’s not essential, being single is also great!
Yet it holds such negative connotations sometimes, especially for women. Being single can be incredibly life-enhancing. It’s also an essential way to really understand yourself as a person.
Some people really only thrive when they are in a relationship, but others prefer to be single. There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to be alone and living independently, but often our society attaches a stigma to that.
Our society sadly often chooses to send us the message that if you are single there is something wrong with you or that you lack the ability to love. That’s just not true! 🙅🏽♂️
Many people are far happier being single and there are many people in harmful or unhappy relationships.
The idea that we need another person in order to be complete is utterly wrong.
In fact, if you go through life feeling like you cannot be happy until you are partnered up, you are likely to not be consciously choosing the right people for you, instead prioritizing the idea of a relationship before the actual individual.
The truth is we often need to be single for a period before we enter into a loving, healthy and balanced relationship. ⚖️
We are all on different journeys here with their own unique lessons. If you are single, whether or not you feel you want to be, empower that experience for yourself, own it and know that whatever you consciously choose is right for you.
2. There is One Person For You
The idea of “the one” is one of the biggest myths of all!
I don’t believe we only have one person for each of us, a soulmate waiting to be found.
I believe we have many potential soulmates. Depending on where you are at in your own life and spiritual development, you will be offering different energy and attracting different people at different times.
All of these relationships are valid and each has something to offer you. Of course, there are people that we meet who resonate more than others, some of these may turn into relationships and some may be passing energetic interactions.
The point is that you get to decide and create “the one” and that might mean multiple different “ones” at different stages of your life. If you buy into the myth of a perfect person who is out there, you may be looking forever.
Finding the right relationship has everything to do with you, your energy output and what you decide is right for you. When you feel you have to wait for “the one” often what you are doing is looking for someone else to make you whole, and that never works.
Every time you believe that someone else can complete you, you are widening that void in yourself, not closing it. Relationships work because two healthy, happy people 👩❤️👨 come together and grow together, each enhancing the other, not filling voids. There may be a perfect person or soulmate for you, but that person will always be changing and evolving as are you.
Soulmates also sometimes come in the form of friendships or family relationships and not just partners. That kind of connection is always energetic and does not have to be a romantic relationship.
At the end of the day, there are endless potential soulmates out there for you to have a loving relationship with, but first and foremost you need to know yourself and the energy you are transmitting before thinking that someone else can enter your life and magically transform it for you.
3. Relationships are Perfect all the Time
There is no such thing as perfect. We are all human and none of us are what you can call perfect, so it stands to reason that our relationships are not perfect either!
For me, true relationships are about support, growth, and understanding. Consciously being with someone else is about evolving together.
Sometimes that means allowing our partner to grow in a way that maybe we don’t like or approve of. Sometimes it can be a lot of work, communication and certain sacrifices.
Relationships are not effortless, they take conscious effort just like anything that you enjoy and do. There cannot be such a thing as perfect all the time, so no matter what you see on Facebook or Instagram, know that everyone goes through ups and downs, this is only normal and part of the process.
4. Your Relationship must Look a Certain Way
Another common myth that we all buy into is that a loving, romantic relationship must look and be a certain way. I don’t know whether to blame this on Hollywood 🎥, poetry, commercials or love songs! 🎶
Whatever the reason, it does seem that we often feel our partner has to express their love in a certain, acceptable way and that is simply not true for everyone.
Some people respond to words, other actions, other people like to show their love with helpful deeds and others just don’t know how to express their feelings physically or don’t feel comfortable doing so.
Everyone’s relationship looks different, and that’s what’s so beautiful about life and all its variety. Some of us like to live together, some prefer to have open relationships and live apart, some choose to have children, some people have huge age differences and on it goes. There is no normal and no perfect.
The only important thing is what you feel about your relationship and your happiness. Relationships are tools for self-discovery and evolving in this journey of life.
Whatever the combination, nothing matters except how you feel about it and what it is that you desire for yourself and for your life.💓